THE COLLECTIVE
MEMBERSHIP COMMUNITY
Do You:
Feel frustrated and helpless that your kids won’t listen to you?
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Struggle to resist yelling or using threats, shame and consequences?
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Experience anxiety or shame for the inconsistent way you parent?
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Wish you could better explain gentle parenting to your fam and friends?
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Hope to align your personal values with your parenting approach?
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Want consistent, shame-free support in learning new ways to show up?
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Dream of learning from and parenting with other like-minded parents?
You’re not alone and it’s gonna be OK. As we like to remind ourselves and others here at Upbringing,
We’re All Growing Up Together!
… Which wasn’t a phrase we, at least, heard as new parents. We remember being told by well-meaning family and friends during the first few years that we already possessed the necessary parenting wisdom to raise kids well: it’s called maternal instinct.
Over time, this advice didn’t comfort as much as confound, as it became clear that we didn’t always have the answers to caregiving dilemmas that came up! How to respond when Kelty’s toddler ran away and hid before every nap or bedtime? What to think when Hannah’s daughter snatched toys out of her brother’s hands and shoved him, laughing?
Was it ok to question our instincts and educate ourselves, or did “not knowing” how to respond to our sensitive and strong-willed kids mean we were bad parents… or that they were bad kids?
As we began listening, learning and studying to become the speakers and coaches we are today, we began to realize that we aren’t alone– many family, friends and folks have also been conditioned to think that winging this parenting thing— and executing it all perfectly— is the expectation.
Unfortunately, the cultural expectation to “know it all” and “do it perfectly” as a parent can become a detrimental limitation, as it raises our anxiety and actually reduces our willingness to seek community, parenting support and education when we need it most!
If we seek educated pediatricians for their medical expertise and hire teachers trained in child development, why should parents somehow be pre-programmed with the innate knowledge and skills to navigate daily caregiving challenges confidently and expertly?
The experience of feeling like an unqualified imposter in a high-stakes new job reminds us of one of our favorite movies: Big.
It’s a mid-eighties classic starring Tom Hanks who plays Josh Baskin, a 12-year-old kid from the New York burbs. After being humiliated at a carnival for being too small for a ride that he wanted to join his crush on, he asks a fortune-telling machine named Zoltar to grant his wish to be BIG. The following morning he wakes up as “himself”, but trapped in the body of a 30 year-old man!
At first it’s painful to watch as Josh fails to convince his family that he’s “still him”, then things grow more comical when he lands a job in the city to fund his quest to reverse the unwanted Zoltar wish. The story deepens as we witness the way Josh’s unabashed vulnerability and youthful naivete actually RAISE him - he builds relationships, wins a promotion and gains a newfound sense of agency and purpose.
Over the years, “Big” has become a classic that encourages us to embrace the child within– it celebrates the authenticity, vulnerability and wisdom of being young in a society that promotes conformity and glorifies adultism.
We share this movie not just because we’re 80s/90s film geeks, but because Big describes a road map to personal growth! When “adult” Josh bravely embarks on an adult life as his child self– awkwardness, ignorance, goofiness and all– he surprisingly isn’t rejected, but accepted. He surprisingly isn’t in over his head, but learns and grows.
Tom Hanks’ character discovers that there is nothing shameful or embarrassing about being himself and “not knowing or doing it perfectly”, and the even cooler thing is that he inspires other adults to embrace the ever-evolving human within themselves, too. We believe that this SAME magic applies to learning and growing as parents in community!
When we bravely admit that we’re basically just kids trapped in adult bodies, we can begin to grow up alongside our kids– and one another!
The Upbringing Collective
Membership Community
“In learning from Han & Kel, I no longer see my son’s behavior as evidence that I’m a failing mother. Thanks to the mindset shifts they’ve inspired and the scenario-specific talking points they provide, I now feel able to guide my son through the choppy waters without drowning myself.
What a gift!”
— Maris, mother of 2
We’re Hannah & Kelty
Twins, parent coaches and speakers, we are certified in Simplicity Parenting, Positive Discipline and trained in Nonviolent Communication and Foundations of RIE. We help parents across the globe learn the keys to transform daily conflict with their kids into personal, relational and collective growth.
Despite cultural expectations, we weren’t meant to parent perfectly— nor on our own. If you’re struggling with sensitive and strong-willed kids, wishing your partner / family were on the same page or hoping to align your parenting practices with greater values of empathy, respect, collaboration + consent, we’d love to meet you! Learn more about us HERE.
BECOME A MEMBER + LEARN EFFECTIVE WAYS TO:
Reduce power struggles and find better flow as a family unit
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Decide when and how to set limits and boundaries with confidence
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Master critical self-regulation, mediation + communication skills
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Find natural consequences that help kids learn without coercion
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Establish family agreements for more collaboration and less chaos
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Approach conflict in creative ways that build skills and our relationship
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Reduce the shame, anxiety, frustration and helpless we’ve experienced
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Feel less alone in challenges with your sensitive/strong-willed kid(s)
“Not a day has gone by that I haven’t been grateful for the beautiful connection I have with my kids, as if seeing them for the first time as full humans. I’m humbled by how close I was to missing the opportunity. Truly something special.”
— Wulfric, father
PARENTS ARE SAYING:
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"These women are basically my best friends that I don’t know in real life. Hannah and Kelty are incredibly good at researching all of the new parenting info, synthesizing it, and bringing it to people in a way that is not only approachable, but incredibly empathetic. It is so easy to feel shame about ways we’ve been parenting that are not ideal, but they manage to light the way out of the shame spiral and provide the tools to help parents and caregivers make changes that feel good."
Lauren- Mother of 2
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"I feel so lucky to have stumbled upon Hannah + Kelty’s podcast, and now to be a part of The Collective community. Anytime I’m struggling to work through a parenting challenge, in the back of my mind I think, “Ah-- I should go see if anyone else has ever run into this,” or “I can’t wait for the next call to bring this up!” The Collective offers really helpful, actionable support, and it’s so cup-filling to be part of such an amazing group of people. Thank you so much!"
Kayla- Mother of 3
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"Parenting my strong-willed son can feel lonely, so meeting other families in this with me feels like a lifeline. The live coaching calls help me re-center and are crucial in the way I show up for my son. Being part of The Collective helps me marinate in this work to transform my parenting and encourage the knowledge to sink in deeply. It’s like the analogy with the mug — whatever you fill up is what spills out when you get bumped. When my son triggers me, I'm so full of this work, it's what naturally comes spilling out!"
Amy- Mother of 1
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"I came to parenting 5 years ago with all the traditional tools - control, punishments, threats, etc. The world was telling me one thing, but my spirited + sensitive first born (and my intuition) was telling me another. With such a big disconnect, I felt like a failure. For the next few years I looked for alternative resources while I stayed closeted about my parenting. One of those resources was Upbringing. Hannah + Kelty have put into words what I have known deep in my gut all along about parenting."
Kaitlin- Mother of 2
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"Hannah + Kelty are non-judgmental about my kids' behaviors. They're just kids with needs, not bad behaviors reflecting my inability to parent them! I've noticed when my mindset changes, the hard feels... well, still hard, but the right kind of hard. I infuse a lot more silliness and play into my parenting now. This morning my daughter was very jumpy, so "baby kangaroo" hopped into the car with minimal resistance because her "mommy kangaroo" asked her to do so!"
Anonymous
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"The group coaching call lets me step into the village I wish I was surrounded by. I’m reminded I’m not alone in the reality that parenting is hard, that all our needs matter and that connection has safer, healthier results than “power + control” methods. Whether the topic at hand directly relates to me or not, I benefit from hearing the process. It settles over my nervous system like a warm, comfy blanket, leaving me in a better mood with wider perspective, more imagination + compassion for myself- and the tricky moments around the corner."
Holly- Mother of 1
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"Hannah + Kelty have an uncanny ability to offer up developmentally accurate insights without judgment. Each week, they explore the group’s parenting challenges + translate the struggles into underlying needs our kids were desperate to meet. The sessions help me shift from viewing my son as someone who does all he can to press my buttons to seeing him as the little one who really just needs my loving help to navigate the turbulence of being an emotionally sensitive human."
Maris - Mother of 2
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"It has been so helpful to have resources in one spot-- I don't have to comb through the whole internet to find something that feels like it fits, having to listen to this person's podcast for this, another IG page for that, and yet another blog for a third challenge. But even more than a centralized place for advice and resources, I look forward to the weekly coaching calls. They provide a safe environment for me to process my challenges and celebrate my growth! They provide real time real life guidance."
Kell - Mother of 2
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"With Hannah + Kelty’s help, I've learned how important it is to tend to my own nervous system and to meet my own needs, so that I can parent with a calm, neutral presence. I see now that Hannah and Kelty have an invaluable superpower: they know how to communicate with kids in a way that feels fun, compassionate and effective. I also feel very grateful to be part of a community like The Collective that can share in the trials and tribulations of parenting in the wild."
Maris- Mother of 2
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"I love being in the Collective with a supportive community of parents. I get to share when challenges come up, and receive support from the community and from Hannah + Kelty too. It is one of the best investments I’ve made the past few years! Now I don’t feel like we are free falling with this parenting thing, and we can learn so much from other’s questions and their answers. Having access to coaching group calls is amazing too! Thank you for the amazing service you provide to so many!"
Anna- Mother of 1
FAQs
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Our work at Upbringing has served folks who care for kids of ALL ages, though the majority of our community is made up of families with kids between 1 and 12. That said, it’s never too early or too late to grow up alongside your child! Our current (and growing by the hour!) cohort cares for kids from 3 months to 14 years, and our community forums are organized based on specific challenge (sleep, health, play, self-reg, etc).
The questions span all ages, and our responses in forums and coaching are intended to support each person’s unique situation while also identifying the similarities and shared wisdom that crosses over to other ages and stages. It’s alllll connected!
We’re also excited to offer the opportunity to create Circles, or subgroups in the community, should you want to host a private or public forum that directly invites folks of kids of a particular age (or any other demographic marker for adult or child) to get to know and support one another.
We’re also excited to offer the opportunity to create Circles, or subgroups in the community, should you want to host a private or public forum that directly invites folks of kids of a particular age (or any other demographic marker for adult or child) to get to know and support one another.
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Our IG and Podcast will still be there for you, but the offerings will continue to be bite-size talks and posts as we invest our time in a community that's motivated to connect + grow along with us! Joining The Upbringing Collective means you’ll be getting ALLLL the juicy shares, conversations, and choose-your-own-adventure goodness — like group coaching and one-on-one chat/forum support— instead of the one-sided cliff notes version that you’ve been getting on IG or the Podcast.
Having all you need in one place can also save you the time and effort of Googling disparate, often conflicting resources out there, and costs a fraction of what 1-1 coaching runs ($250/hr). If you’ve done your research, you may also have noticed that most parenting membership groups charge MORE and offer FEWER live coaching connections with minimal facilitation in forum areas. In The Upbringing Collective, we offer 4 LIVE coaching sessions a month and consistent support in the forums, because that is actually how community is fostered and skills are built. Our membership rate is likely less than what you spend on coffee each month.
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We see you. You’re pulled in a million different directions and naturally worry that having ONE more thing to do might push you over the edge — we’ve been there! But here’s the thing- connecting with us and other parents in The Collective is intended to actually SAVE you time, as it’s designed to be affordable and engaged with on YOUR own terms and at YOUR own pace. No demands, homework or stress- just a safe place to feel seen and be supported whenever you need it.
You can show up and participate whenever makes the most sense day to day, moment to moment. Hop on a LIVE coaching session when the kids are napping, dip into the resources library for a strategy review while you’re out for a walk, or ask a quick question in the forum while you're waiting to pick the kids up from school. Learning powers beyond control to navigate daily challenges with your kids grants you the gift of TIME- to observe, connect with and ENJOY this longest/shortest time.
Imagine what it could be like for you, your child, and your entire family when you have the support you need and a community to lean on at your fingertips. We’re here for you! Should you join and later realize you aren’t able to connect as often as you’d like with us and the community, there is no shame or long-term commitment— you easily can cancel anytime.
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We are white, cis, straight, able-bodied women coming to this work aware of and acknowledging the many privileges we hold. We are committed to learning from this diverse community, and seek to create a safe and inclusive space for your unique history, identity, needs and experiences to be shared. We envision building this community in partnership with you, with harm reduction and safe, affirming experiences for all members at top of mind.
Our Community Guidelines are just one way we want to make this loud and clear to everyone who joins The Upbringing Collective. The community also offers the opportunity to create and foster your own unique subgroups over time based on location, interest, identity, family status, profession, etc. to connect more specifically/intimately on topics outside daily discipline / the parent-child relationship.
Some examples of Circles that members can create: LGBTQIA parents, Parents of differently wired kids, Grandparents, Non-Binary Families, Single Parents, Australian Community Members (location-based), Families of multiples (twins, etc), Parents of kids w medical complexities, Parents Identifying as Dads, Parenting is Political, Sober Parents, Unschooling Members, etc. Our hope is that these Circles can form organically and intentionally as you connect with one another in the greater community.
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That entirely depends on what YOU need! The Collective is intended to function in a complimentary way alongside other support you receive, focused on supporting YOU to show up with more clarity and confidence during personal struggles and challenges with the child in your life. If you’re yearning for our ongoing coaching support and a community full of like-minded folks who “get it”, The Collective is for you!
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Absolutely! The membership covers you and any additional co-parent/s and caregiver/s who join you on your account to post, read, and participate in the Lives… Partners, grandparents, nannies, etc.
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We’ve booked weekly coaching calls on different days of the week and at different times in an attempt to accommodate as many folks as possible. If the times/dates aren’t working for you, let us know and we can take your scheduling needs into consideration with future calls!
Coaching calls will also be recorded so that you can watch and comment within the community later. The community is available 24/7 for you to chat, comment, blog or video anything going on with you, and we’ll likely integrate some of the current community happenings into the weekly coaching sessions.
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The Upbringing Collective is hosted on the female-founded Mighty Networks platform. Mighty Networks is well known for its easy-to-navigate system that invites you to participate throughout the day on your phone or computer.
You can access the community on the web or download the app for easy access, and should you run into trouble at any point, we’ve built a troubleshooting area to help each other— no member left behind
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The Upbringing Collective is an inclusive community of folks from across the globe. We encourage ANYONE who is interested in reparenting and caregiving to join the membership!
Bonus, step, God, full-time or part-time parents, grandparents + extended family
Nannies, doulas and birth workers
Montessori, Waldorf and elementary school teachers
Therapists- mental health, OT, PT, etc.
Activists in publicly policy and social change
People seeking to reparent themselves before having children
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The collective is a secure membership community hosted on Mighty Networks. Each person/family who joins creates an account and profile, and can be as specific or private as they wish with regards to their name, location, children’s names/ages, particular challenges, etc.
You can post publicly in the forums or privately chat with us or others. It’s up to you! Our Live coaching sessions will take place weekly on Zoom where you can attend privately or participate actively on camera, voice and/or chat. Calls are recorded and confidentiality is emphasized before and after calls.
We were never meant to do LIFE, let alone PARENTING, perfectly– or on our own. If you’re motivated to overcome parenting challenges in a supportive community, we can’t wait to meet you!
FORUM & COACHING TOPICS
Sibling Challenges
When kids struggle to share with others, include others, play gently with others, lose gracefully (jealousy, competitiveness, etc)
Transition Challenges
When kids struggle with one parent or prefer another, to go to school, to daycare, to leave the park, friends’ house, to end screen or play time
Big Feeling Challenges
When kids struggle with a limit that’s been set, to accept reality without sadness or disappointment, to calm down, to be brave
Verbal Challenges
When kids struggle to use a quiet voice,
to use kind words, to say what they need, to tell the truth or show accountability
Health Challenges
When kids struggle with hair brushing, washing, toothbrushing, nail clipping, bathing, dressing, diapering, toileting, doctor visits, medicine
Physical Challenges
When kids struggle to use gentle hands with others, to respect the home, to follow safety, rules and personal boundaries
Mealtime Challenges
When kids struggle to come to the table or stay at the table, to eat or try foods, to eat politely, to moderate snacks or sweets
Bedtime Challenges
When kids struggle with the night routine, to stay in their bed or room, with falling asleep alone or sticking to agreements or limits
Personal Challenges
When partners aren’t on board, when you struggle to set limits and boundaries without threats, yelling, shame or punishments
OUR GUARANTEE
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SAFETY
Join our secure, private platform off Instagram + Facebook that hosts an inclusive collective of parents who’ve been through it– and get it. Explore the inclusive environment to connect and learn in your own way, on your own time and at your own pace.
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SUPPORT
Learn shame-free, research-based parenting strategies in weekly group coaching calls with Hannah, Kelty and global members. Connect with other like-minded parents in themed forums to ask your questions, share your challenges and celebrate wins.
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SUCCESS
Begin to thrive— not just survive— your kids’ big feelings and challenging behaviors as you master the mindset and learn the tools to approach daily challenges with more calm, confidence and connection… Raising everyone in the process.